It’s Okay If You’ve Messed Up? Here Are 3 Simple Tips To Win Your Friend’s Trust Back.

Hold the vision, trust the process – Unknown

I have had a few mess up in my relationship with people, we all make one or two silly mistakes anyway.

Building Back A Broken TrustFriends, welcome to string 23 of #think2riches.

The lives of babies are really interesting. I remember, as a little boy  when my dad throw me up, I will smile and giggle out loud without the fear of falling.

I trusted my dad’s heart, I believed his hands, I cling to the generous hope in his eyes, I freely fly as far as he would throw me. Good old days!

As we all grow older, we meet people outside of our immediate families, we develop relationship with people from another society and we tear open our lives to strangers that care to listen to us. We chat, we laugh on the phone, we smile when their names flash up in our dreams. Yes!

Then, in the middle of it all, something goes wrong, just a simple mistake!

We mistakenly miss a digit on the financial statement, we forgot our mothers’ birthday, we didn’t fulfill a promise and we miss our daughter’s graduation and so on.

Our crisis management skills suddenly disappear. The rosy moments we share with our loved ones immediately get lost in the deep waters of little wrongs, small foxes enter and our beautiful vine is thrashed.

Yeah! I have been there. One of my best friends said to me,

‘I trusted you, but I can’t stand seeing you, just leave me alone’

‘I put my entire secret into your hand, yet you stabbed me in the back’

‘I opened up my life to you, I loved you but you crushed my trust’

In times like this, what can you do to get back the trust of your friend? Let’s look into 3 simple things that can help us win back our relationship.

  1. Acceptance

Immediate apology hasn’t helped so much. Simply accept that you are wrong. I tried all routes to explain and convince, non of the tricks clicked a strand of hair. No form of personal defense will safe your dirty face, not right now. Simply, be humble for once and swallow your pride.

Put your blades in its sheath and let the situation subside. Let the grains find root at the rock base. Allow your boss to vent his anger, give your sister the opportunity to really get mad at you. Let your friend release their rage

We all make mistakes, acknowledge this one.

  1. Communication

I use the LLATA model here. It’s the Listen, Listen, Ask, Think and Act!

Again, you don’t need to preach to your friend or boss. Go to them when the volcanic eruption has calmed down, go and listen to them. Allow them to vent out all the anger a little more.

First step in real empathy is listening. For several centuries and even today, listening skill is an amazing strength for anyone that has it. Your friend will push you off; listen in to their emotions, to their words, to their silence, to their healing process.

Go ahead; ask them about all the wrong things they feel about your action. You don’t always need the third or fifth party to do this for you. Go back to your dear friend, ask and listen in!

Then, if they agree, design an action plan together. What do they feel you can do that they will be happy to support you for the trust to be built back? That is thinking together about how the healing process should go.

Then, action is the third tip. Read on.

  1. Commitment

This is more crucial. The secret here is that you have to be consistent, comforting, and dependable to earn the trust again. Start out with baby noticeable steps. Here, a magic won’t turn things around. Don’t rush your friend into trusting you right away.

Patiently invest in the minute things. Try out meetup in a new place, try out new kinds of gifts (in words or as a substance) and try out new approach to conversations and so on.

Yes, this process might take a few more years to solidify. Stay committed to making it work. Relationship is everything!

Now, it’s your turn. How have you made your friends trust you again after a silly mistake? Which of these tips are you struggling with?

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I Really Don’t Know.

I don’t know, I really don’t know!

The wiggling hand of the wind through the window blind,
The airstream tiptoeing, gathering the dry leaves into a round mass,
Hope continuously knock, but the unmistakable signs of setback colours the lattice,

I feel the sound of the doors cringe, hinged on its frame, opportunities pass me by in the queue,
The plates in hasty kiss shattered into pieces,
The cups in choreography crushed out of the cupboard.

The soup is overcooked, yet undone. I tried, but I still got fired.
When I added more ingredients, the water dried up, the fire went out, the vibe ebbed.
I opened a new page, yet the book recognized my hand, the pen ink was spent.

But His bleeding side has become my healing ride,
His bowel ever yearns to towel down my fears,
The farther I ran away, the dearer He cared in plenty ways,

I was least among men, now I feast among kings,
I lust after rubbish, but the cost of all I lost, He gave double for shame,
Ignorance punished me, truth jumped in and polished me.

Grace made me an ace in the race of life,
The pain in His back was hurtful,
So that the gain in my pack can be graceful.

PS: I see how depressed, repressed and oppressed you’ve been. Today, your breakthrough is closer than you think, the illimitability within you is bursting forth into peak performance. I celebrate your achievements in advance.

Keep CLIMB (Changing Little Into MegaBucks) Alive.

Much Love. Cheers 🙂

TORN PANTS

Torn Pants

Torn Pants

No matter your discipline, career or field, it all started from somewhere and with somebody, God started all disciplines…
For example;

Politics, he’s the first electoral chairman(removing kings and installing another).

Agriculture, He planted the garden of Eden.

Non-governmental Organization (NGO), feeding 600000+ for 40 uninterrupted years.
Mathematics, Yes, He proved the hardest arithmetic (1+1=1).

Carpentry, he gave the exact types of wood and specific dimensions to make Noah’s ark.

Law, 613 commandments summed up into just 2–Love God and your neighbour.

Physics, He violated the flotation and density principle by walking on water.

Psychology, let us reason together (lets make man in our own image and likeness).

Languages, remember the tower of babel.

Chemistry, water + the intangible Word = Wine.
History, A begat B, D begat E (and Amram married his aunt, Jochebed, to give birth to Moses).

Architecture, he made the heavens without any supporting poles.

Pharmacy, lumps of figs to heal Hezekiah’s boil.

Fashion designing, he made coats of skin and clothed Adam and Eve. And so on.

At this juncture, i’l like to dwell a little on His intention as the first fashion designer, I believe he was trying to show us a perfect way to go about our career.

See the amplified version of Gen 3:21, For Adam also and for his wife the Lord God made long coats of skins and CLOTHED them.

Adam and Eve saw that they were naked and they were ashamed, they had lost their mind, there was a need to cover their nakedness, God thus, fashioned and designed coats to CLOTHE them to replace aprons of fig leaves.

But now, fashion design is about what you don’t wear, its now about using half a yard to sew a gown which normally should sow just an head tie… Perhaps you think when people wear revealing clothes, its because they are not ashamed, NO! Its simply because, the full use of the sense has been thwarted, i mean, confusion bubbles in their mind.

The Message Bible confirms that,
Mark 5:15 They came up to Jesus and saw the madman sitting there WEARING DECENT CLOTHES AND MAKING SENSE, no longer a walking madhouse of a man.

Immediately his blind mind became healed and normal, first thing first, Christ clothes him, the man wouldn’t tear his shirts or his pants any longer to display his confused state. I think swimsuit should be different from office apparel.

I began to imagine this man shouting loudly what Nebuchadnezzar said in Dan 4:36 (Message), At the same time that i was given back my mind, i was also given back my majesty and splendour, making my kingdom shine, all leaders and important people came looking for me.

You’ll need to be crude or sane in heart to be clothed the way you would. I see the first ever designer shouting, please, take back your reasoning, please have your sanity restored, your understanding, your mind, be clothe and dressed in array of aura, let excellency of greatness display from within you, the grandeur beauty, curves and perimeter of your body is not for public citizenry or showpiece.

Prov 7:10 And the woman meets him having the APPEARANCE of a harlot, that causes the hearts of young men to flutter.

We’ve left the fashion industry to lost minds, clouded and blinded hearts, confused wits, unresolved brainpower.
The perfect designer delights a spirit explosion even in our fashion industries, we are not going to stay right in church and the world messes up the perfect plan. We are meant to be a lighthouse in this sphere, we’re priests and kings unto our God and we are to reign on earth, stop the microphone combat…we urgently need you in this industry.

God really started your career, be fruitful,multiply, subdue and have dominion!

Remember to keep CLIMB (Changing Little Into MegaBucks) Alive.
Cheers and much Love.

MERCY’s MiDaS ToUcH 1

As the great Muse scooped lines upon lines into my mental cavity and with a gleeful glissando, I humbly chewed precepts upon precepts, once again face-to-face with this popular, yet profound story.

My Muse’s name is Mercy.

Mercy has two sons, Kaycee – the elder and Tracy – the younger. 14 days and 20 hrs ago, Tracey turned 18. Jazz music from the stable of Kirk Whalum and Yanni exchanged pleasantries with every air that blew in the home that day. It was an open day of multiple purchases for all the supermarkets along the street. Jollof rice struggled endlessly with fried rice, while Maltina and chilled water casted lots to know who gets the tumbler. My hollow cheek accentuated my air-borne smile as I watched this drama.

Tracey, on his 18th birthday definitely had a great day. As the flashes of this birthday kept Tracey half-awake almost every night, he told himself, so my parents are this riiiccchh? So why do they stop me from getting all I ever wanted? Oh my gut, gut, I have been cheated and rated so small. Okay, enough of this overwhelming fuzz and cuzz, Daddy must hear me out tomorrow morning, for gun’s sake, I am now 6 in 3 places, 18.

As Mercy came out of the master bedroom the following morning, he had a long night strategizing a 300-year plan of investments. His dawn lit up with the unmistaken figure of Tracy before him, oh my dear* treasure, come over onto the sofa and feel my warmth. Tracy’s mind at this time was a busy football pitch, his tongue and teeth took the conversation floor and said, ‘Dad, thank you so much for your care and love thus far, but sir, give me the portion of wealth that falls unto me now!’
Mercy continued, ‘Tracy, don’t be kidding, remember, you are now 18 and in fact I am still alive and won’t think of divorcing your mother nor disowning you, why then do you script your voice into my unwritten will?’

180 minutes countdown begins…tick, tock, tick, tock…

Mercy stopped the minute hand on 37 and said, ‘okay, okay, Tracey, you have it; the portion right here is for Kaycee, your brother, and that portion for you. Take it; it is all yours now.’
Tracey, in exuberant ecstasy, got his visa and air ticket so fast, buzzed all his friends a goodbye and gathered all the portions together…zoomed off to a distant country.

He definitely didn’t know about having a personal statement of purpose, setting goals, having baselines, changing little into megabucks and investing for all stages of life (below 30, 30+, heading towards 50 and retirement). He didn’t understand that the race is not always to the swift, or the battle to the strong, or satisfaction to the wise, nor riches to the smart, nor grace to the learned. Tracey forgot that as long as his bejeweled father lived, his father’s wealth will become more and more and that could be tantamount to him getting a better share of portion the days ahead.

Mercy began to intentionally see the good side of Tracy’s request for an independent life, but why hasn’t Tracey gotten in touch with any of us since the past 30weeks? Has he soon forgotten the interdependent and synergistic system that works in this family? In fact, even the user manual for his portion is still here with me, what will have become a candle without a wick and a wick without the light? Anyway, I am certain that one day, as a bolt in the blue, I will see Tracy’s feet greet my foot mats and his phalanges will turn my door handle again.

Watchout for Part 2 on how Tracey solved the ‘schrodinger equation’ of life.

Keep CLIMB (Changing Little Into MegaBucks) Alive.
Cheers.